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Monday, 23 November 2009

Friday, 13 November 2009

  • Sorry, I know it's been a long time since I posted, first because I was busy, and then because I didn't know what to say.

    So here's what happened: I started my internship, anxious, but presumably prepared. I went to the school every day, got to know the kids, was starting to learn the system, had taught some lessons (some successful, some not). At some point, I started not to want to be there. I started to think that unacceptable alternatives were preferable to being there. I realized that I couldn't spend the rest of my life, or even the rest of the year, in a classroom.

    One day, I left. At lunchtime. It wasn't a dramatic walkout, although that would make a far better story. I told my mentor teachers I was feeling sick (which wasn't a lie, since I think I was having a panic attack), got in my car, drove home, and called my field instructor to tell her what was happening. A few phone calls later, I had a doctor's appointment for the next day and a meeting with the powers that be set up. I cried a lot. I hardly ate. I immersed myself in literature, called good friends, and talked to my parents.

    And so it ended. I went back to the school for my kids' Halloween party and told them it was my last day. I withdrew from the university. I started investigating options for graduate school, seeing a counselor, and looking for a job.

    No happy ending yet (that would make a much better story, too, I know), but at least there's hope now.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Thursday, 16 July 2009

  • He's Just Not that Into Me

    A few months ago, I ended up spending time with an acquaintance of about three years and discovering that we had more in common than I ever could have imagined.  He loves to cook, is an "accommodating" vegetarian, speaks conversational Spanish, and is great with kids, all things that I'm looking for in a significant other.  His faith is clearly important to him and academically he's very strong - I could tell that if we spent more time together, we'd have many idea-based conversations.  He was even interested in my dreams to work on an urban farm.  I'd invited him over for dinner with the roommie and myself, and he ended up staying until around 11 pm, saying on his way out that he wished we been friends sooner (we both just graduated).  Everything was go.

    Then I saw him at a couple parties for graduating seniors.  He was friendly, cordial, but not overly warm.  I know by now how to read men, and he wasn't at all interested in me.  Maybe I read him wrong originally or maybe something changed, but there clearly wasn't any point in looking for a relationship with him, no matter how perfect I think he is.  He's just not that into me.  And yet I find myself wondering what went wrong or if anything will change.

    Have you ever fallen for someone who's clearly not that into you?  What did you do?

Sunday, 05 July 2009

  • -Centrism

    I'll fight Eurocentrism until the day I die (if I ever forget, please slap me upside the head until I remember).
    I'll fight racism, sexism, ethnocentrism, ageism, and a lot of other -isms.

    I don't believe that Whites are better than any other cultural group (even if this assumption benefits me, since I'm White and have seen the power of White privilege).  I don't even really believe in the construct of race.  I don't believe that men are better than women (which is not to say that I believe they are the same).  I also don't believe that the amount of money one has makes one a better or worse person.

    One -ism I don't believe to be unreasonable is anthropocentrism.  Anthropocentrism is a basic belief that humans come first in the hierarchy of living things and that they are more important than other species.

    This has come up for me because I'm reading a dissertation about urban life with livestock (related to the goat farm project), and while I find the research methods to be satisfactory and the general findings to be consistent with what I know about urban life, I can't accept the author's underlying assumption that people who do not consider their livestock at least as important as a pet, or preferably as much a part of the family as a child, are not living at the highest moral level.  (She hasn't said this overtly, but I feel the weight of her judgment staring up at me from the page.)

    Of course, I believe in protecting endangered species, in treating animals well, in using resources wisely.  But I also believe that priorities are necessary, and I've seen too many children without childhoods to put an animal before them, or even equal to them.  If killing an animal helps students at an inner city school to understand how they're part of the food web, I'm ok with that.  If keeping chickens for their eggs makes a profit to continue running a worthwhile program, fine by me.  If not taking a rabbit to the vet makes it possible to pay the electric bill, go ahead.

    Maybe I'm unenlightened . . . but I'm not ignorant.  I'd heard the arguments before, seen the pictures, met the activists.  I just don't buy it.  But I'd love to hear your thoughts.

suttone2

  • Visit suttone2's Xanga Site
    • Name: Erin
    • Location: Lansing, Michigan, United States
    • Birthday: 6/21/1987
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 8/13/2005

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About Me

  • I'm a student seeking truth and consistency in my faith and actions. Call me on it if you see contradictions in my entries!

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